I Have Failed Again!

Paul says in Romans 7:15, 19, 22 (NKJV)

15 For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do.

19 For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. 

22 For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man.23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.

The issues that Paul expresses above seems to be the story of my life. Even as I determined to live my life to be a witness for Him and to live a life that will glorify God; I am overcome by fear, selfishness, sin in thought and deed; more often than not. The good that I want to do, I do not do but the evil that I do not want to do, that I practice. It has been such a struggle. I am trying to overcome but I keep failing till I am ashamed to come before God to pray for forgiveness and mercy.

I have prayed and sought assurance of forgiveness from the following verses:-

Isaiah 43:25 (NKJV)

“I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake;
And I will not remember your sins.

Ephesians 1:7 (NKJV)

In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace

Psalm 103:12 (NKJV)

As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

And yet I felt discouraged!

Carole MHere I am again Lordayhall in her book “Here I Am Again, Lord – Confession Of A Slow Learner” talks about her personal journey and struggles. She shares that she can “..easily recall countless time I’ve failed – failed to speak up for my faith; failed to keep my temper; failed to conquer envy, fear, pride, selfishness. I have to think hard to remember a few occasions of victory. But God chooses to remember my victories and forget my defeats. His gracious love conquers all my sin.”

Today, when I walked into the weekend celebration service, the presence of God was so strong over me; there was such a wonderful sense of His love and mercy that once again I have the assurance of forgiveness of sin through the work of Christ on the cross and that I am cleansed by the blood of Jesus!

Dear friend, if you are struggling and feel discouraged, do not be like me – take comfort in the assurance of God’s word that if you confessed your sins, He is faithful and just to forgive you your sins and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).

Carole also gave a wonderful illustration of God’s mercy and grace in restoration towards Aaron, Moses brother. Aaron had stood besides Moses and had seen the demonstration of God’s power through the plagues in Egypt, the crossing of the Red Sea, the cloud by day and the fire by night. He saw mighty God at work up close and personal. Yet in Exodus 32, when Moses was up in the mountain with God longer than anyone expected, the people grew concerned and restless and Aaron did the unthinkable! He asked the people to bring him gold, and he made them a golden calf to worship instead of God. And yet, in Leviticus 8, God commanded Moses to have Aaron designated the leader of his holy priest. What an amazing picture of God’s mercy and grace!

God also used Paul (or Saul) the most fervent persecutor of His disciples to be His most fervent missionary leader. “But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty” (1 Corinthians 1:27).

I do not understand how God can love me unconditionally despite my many failing but I am so grateful that He does! Praise God for His mercies that are new every morning!

Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)

 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
    His mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
    great is Your faithfulness.

Please like, comment or share with me your story of God’s faithfulness, grace and mercy towards you.